Even though statistics show that divorce rates have been on a steady decline since 1980, I am sorry to say that your wedding guest came for the cake. Within our inner circles, divorce rates are much higher as the virtuous aspects of marriage continue to change. Critical gender specific roles have gone out the window defeminizing women and emasculating men . But the tragedy of divorce for some couples resulted in a clear acceptance that the two were not meant to be together. As for a few others, they have become collateral damage in a universal push for equality. But for the majority, most couples used inaccurate measures to qualify an individual as their soulmate.

When you decide to be with “that one” you have to be confident you’ve made the right choice. When you are not confident, somewhere down the road your gut feeling becomes the only feeling and the idea of falling “in and out” of love is a fallacy that keeps hopeless romantics preoccupied.

3 Ways To Know You Found The One

Single people, pump your breaks. You are not the luckiest ones in this article because looking for the right one can be just as frustrating has having the wrong one. The most important thing to do when reading this article is to have an open mind and attract a self-perception that allows you to point the finger at yourself. It will always be easy to say someone is not compatible with “me” but the greater truth is in knowing “I” am not right for them.

1. Opposites Do Not Attract

We fall in love with people who are not like us because they are exciting, mysterious or intriguing. Once those facets fade we are left with a person we simply cannot understand and many times communicate with. Love is not mitigated via the science concept of the law of attraction. It is a physiological law of affinity in which like things attract. If you do not want a person like yourself, then you need to work on fixing you.

We spend the majority of our time at work or working that it leaves very little time to build a relationship. If we restructure our lives to work together then “my” time becomes :our” time. It is much easier to spend time with someone who is equally as passionate about the things you enjoy. In a relationship you want to value each others life enjoyments equally whether it is working out or cooking.

2. Love Is Not Skin Deep

Dating has become a challenge as the desire for marriage and true love diminishes. As a result, we are compromising our standards in efforts to pull in a new round of contenders. But of our five senses, the most alert and many times most effective is our eyes. Enchanted is an appropriate descriptive word; seek first to be over joyed with what your eyes see.

It may come off shallow saying love is on the surface, but diving in before you are fully visually persuaded is a bad idea. An eye witness will put an innocent person in jail before an ear witness so let us appreciate the value of what our eyes see. Compromising early on will lead you to an absolutely unfulfilled relationship. YES, a person’s spirit is an important factor but that does not fuel sexual chemistry. The difference between a lover and a friend is sex, and a couple must stay sexually attracted.

3. Respect Is Not Earned

Earning respect is truly an American idea as in many countries it is given. But being “pleasant” it not exactly what is being expressed in this point as much as “having respect for _______.” You want to admire each others purpose, support their calling and help them be great. To attain such a compassion and affinity for each others utopia, a couple must have an awareness for each others calling and push them to be who they are born to be.

I am sure Michelle Obama would have preferred her kids not grow up in the public’s eyes or to uproot her family from Chicago to DC. But it is evident that Michelle believed in her husband’s vision and found a way to extend her own passion into his master plan. She built her own identity supported heavily by Barrack Obama. In many ways, the first Lady Michelle is just as powerful as the President of the United States.

In conclusion…

Yes there is something to say about age when it comes to finding the one, but that is not a prominent factor in this discussion. We have to stop being cavalier toward love but aggressive with our intent and bold with our passion.

Before you get on the love boat, check to make sure you have a person who can help you sail, entertain you in the middle of the ocean and make you feel great when no one is watching.  If you are married and cannot find these attributes in your relationship, then consider making the difficult decision. The biggest regret is wasting time.

” Love never fails. It is a journey full of opportunities to try and try again.” – Charity Gachenge

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